Without You I'm Nothing
by Pretty Crimson Eyes
Summary: It is the day before a very big day and Kai is reminiscing about how it all came to be. kaixrei - one-shot


This took longer to finish than I had expected and I'm not sure that it even _has_ the effect I wanted it to have. But oh well… What to do…? What to say…? Oh yearh…! **I do not own Beyblade!**

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Without You I'm Nothing

It was a strange afternoon. The sun was shining beautifully and not many clouds were covering the sky, but still the slate-haired boy was standing in pouring rain. He didn't mind. He never had.

It was the day before his kitten - also called by the name Rei Kon - and his big day. The day they both had been looking so much forward to ever since he proposed in April. Just thinking about the expression on his kitten's face made him smile scornfully and victoriously. Rei really didn't see _that one_ coming. And neither did the rest of the team, when they or at least Rei had made their relationship official. He remembered how the three younger boys were just standing without making a single move and barely breathing. Then Kenny dropped his beloved laptop on the floor and Tyson fainted. Max just kept staring with his mouth wide open. The slate-haired boy grinned quietly to himself. His team mates really looked ridiculous that day or well…more than usual.

He and his kitten had really gone through a lot and it still amazed him how they actually got this far. Everyone knew that he wasn't the most positive person in the world so how was that ever going to work out with someone who was pretty much the essence of sunshine? Absolutely no one would have predicted their love to last _this_ long.

The rain stopped. Drops of water were left on the leaves of the trees, which now were in the beautiful colors of fall. The slate-haired boy closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh air. He sighed. This weather was exactly like the one where he and his kitten had showed their love for one another for the first time in the shape of a kiss. He still remembered how he felt his legs shake afterwards. It was one of the most passionate and meaningful moments of his life. For the first time in many years something mattered to him; mattered _deeply_. The emptiness was no longer there and so was the feeling of meaninglessness that had almost got rid of him in the end.

He shivered by the thought of standing there on the top of one of the highest buildings in Tokyo and looking down at the million cars and the people rushing to get to their destinations. Everything had felt meaningless; even blading. All the excitement about it had disappeared and he no longer felt the adrenaline pump in his veins.

His kitten had saved him from putting an end to it all; an end to all the pain.

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He had left the hotel earlier than usual and just wandered around in the streets of the city. He had decided that it would be the best to leave his team mates in ignorance about where he had gone; they would be just fine. Surely they would go look for him, but without any luck. When the night had replaced the day he had thought they had given up hope – and they had. Well, at least three of them.

If he hadn't hesitated to look at the beautiful almost blinding full moon Rei would have been too late. When he had heard his name being said in a tone filled with terror, but still so passionate and longing, he had already changed his mind.

He had slowly turned around and stared straight into the seductive amber-eyes he had been avoiding so many times so he wouldn't be hypnotised by them. Suddenly time had stopped. It had felt like Rei and him were in another dimension; just the two of them, alone. Then Rei had asked him what he was doing up there even though he knew that he Rei knew the answer. He hadn't answered because of that, but also because he suddenly had forgotten why he was actually there.

"Come… Let's go home," Rei had then said while smiling a careful, but innocent smile.

After a few moments of silence he had stepped down from the edge and walked towards Rei. When he was a few feet away from him he had stopped. The moon light had made Rei's eyes glow even more than they already did. Then they had walked out of the building.

The way back to the hotel was long, and after they had walked for hours it had started to feel like they weren't actually walking in the direction they were supposed to anymore. They had suddenly found themselves in a park.

"The sun is coming up."

"I know."

They sky had started to turn orange and the reflection of the beautiful morning sun had soon been able to be seen on the bright surface of the small sea in the middle of the park. Rei had walked down to the water and sat. He had hesitated at first, but then followed Rei's example. Just sitting there together side by side with Rei had made him think. He had suddenly noticed a slight feeling of joy. And then he had realised it. He had finally got it; Rei was the one.

"Thanks."

Rei had turned his head towards him and asked. "For what, Kai?"

He had hesitated. Then answered while he had turned his head, too.

"For saving me."

Rei had smiled and carefully put his hand on top of his. Then removed it again after a few seconds.

He had awoken by the feeling of something wet on his face. He had opened his crimson eyes and found out that it was raining. He had wondered how long he had been sleeping, then sat up. He had turned to Rei; he always looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. He had smiled to himself and gently run his fingers through Rei's raven-hair. He had automatically begun to purr. Strangely enough the pouring rain hadn't bothered him.

What had happened during the night had all of a sudden just felt like a nightmare; something unreal, but yet it had taken place. He had laid back again, closer to Rei than before. It had all felt so right; nothing should ever change.

Rei had after a few minutes opened his eyes and blinked.

"Kai," he had said in a low tone while he had sounded a little confused.

"Hn…," he had said, but not in the usual whatever-I-don't-care tone. He had even smiled, too.

"What happened? Did I fall asleep? What time is it? How long have I been out? We'd better get back to the others…"

"They'll be alright. I suppose it's possible for them to be able to take care of themselves a little longer…"

Rei had looked at him with worried eyes. Did that just come out of his captain's mouth? His captain Kai Hiwatari, who didn't think much of anyone; especially not his three younger team mates?

"Uhm… I guess…" Rei had said. "If you say so, Kai." Then he had slowly calmed down and sent him a warm smile. There had been a short pause of silence when Rei had asked how he was doing.

"Okay… I think."

Rei had probably wanted to ask him if he would like to talk about it, but somehow he must have known that the answer to his question would be "not yet," so he hadn't asked. Instead he had got up and pulled _him_ up afterwards. They had suddenly stood pretty close, Rei still holding his hand and slowly raising his head till their eyes had met; crimson vs. gold. He had blushed a little, but hadn't just blinked and looked down again. Raindrops had run down their faces. Rei had wiped the ones on one cheek away. "Kai", he had started, "I know you probably don't want to talk about it now and perhaps you never will, but I want you to know that I'll be there for you if that time comes and actually at any other time, too. But you have to promise that you'll never…" Suddenly the drops of water that had run down Rei's cheeks hadn't only been from the rain. "Because", he had continued with sadness , even pain in his whisper, "I…I… Without you I'm _nothing_." Rei had shut his watery eyes and let his tears run in silence.

Watching Rei like that had paralysed him even more than he had already been because of what had just been said. He hadn't even noticed that his own eyes had filled themselves with tears. It had taken him a while to actually understand and most of all _believe_ what Rei had just told him, but when he had started to get some of it a little smile had appeared in the corner of his mouth. "Rei," he had said calmly, while gently lifting Rei's chin.

Rei had carefully opened his shining, half-drowned amber-eyes and slowly calmed down. Once again time had stopped, and once again it had felt like Rei and him were in another dimension; just the two of them, alone. Then their lips had met.

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"Hn…," the slate-haired boy said to himself and closed his eyes. He remembered how Tyson, Max and Kenny had jumped up and down in joy and relief when Rei and him had entered the door to their hotel room. They had obviously been pretty nervous and worried, but to his surprise they had actually managed to stay quite calm instead of panicking longer than he had expected. He also remembered how they had all stood and smiled at him with a look of expectancy as if they were waiting for something. Max had moved a little closer to him and made his smile even more creepy than it already was – to him that is. That kid had always freaked him out. No one could possibly be capable of staying in invariable happiness in more than a couple of hours  - except Max obviously. How did that blonde kid do that?

He probably had to get back to the others soon; to his kitten. He turned around and began to walk. His thoughts about his kitten and a big pile of strawberries with whipped cream were suddenly interrupted by the sound of someone crying. He walked in the direction of where the crying was coming from and soon a small figure sitting on a large rock appeared. He slowed down so he wouldn't scare the person whose crying was filled with so much anger, frustration and most of all pain.

When he got a little closer he recognized the person. It was his kitten. But why was he crying? Nerves? Was he having second thoughts? Of course not. He knew his kitten. Something else was wrong. He began to walk faster. Every step he took felt so light, as if he wasn't touching the ground at all. He stopped when he was only a few feet behind him. "Rei…?" he started. "What's wrong? Why are you sitting here alone crying?"

His kitten didn't answer; didn't even seem to react to his presence. The slate-haired boy was starting to get really worried and walked up in front of his kitten who didn't look up.

"Oh, Kai…" his kitten managed to say between all the sobbing.

"Yes, Rei…?" the slate-haired boy answered. "What do you want to tell me?"

There was a short pause, but eventually his kitten forced out a "why?". "Why, Kai…?"

"Why what?" he asked not knowing whether to look serious or try to make his kitten calm down by smiling. "Have I done something wrong? Have I hurt you? Have someone _else_ hurt you?" His kitten started to calm down a little.

"Rei… Tell me what's wrong," he said and sat down on his knees. Suddenly he noticed that his kitten was holding something very tightly in his hand. "What's that in your hand, Rei?" His kitten didn't answer, but started crying again.

He looked closer and soon he knew what the object in the familiar blue color was; it was Dranzer, even though he was pretty convinced that it was safe in his own pocket. He checked. It wasn't there. Suddenly he began to understand what this was all about. His kitten must have found his blade and thought that some emergency had come up and he had had to leave immediately and in all the confusion left Dranzer behind. He knew he had to go to the airport and pick up Tala and the rest of the Demo Boys, but his kitten knew for sure that they didn't arrive before evening. And it still didn't explain the crying.

"Rei, how come Dranzer is with you? Where did you find it?" he asked.

There was no answer. His kitten just kept crying more and more. He noticed that his whole body was shaking as if he was freezing which was quite possible, after all it had been raining. His kitten slowly got up, still shaking. He now saw that his whole face was drowned in tears and his eyes were red from all the crying.

He wanted to take him in his arms, hold him tight, but something kept him from doing it; a feeling. A feeling that told him not to, that it was for the best if he didn't. Suddenly his kitten fell to his knees and almost made him fall backwards.

"Why did you leave me…?" his kitten said in a low tone.

He blinked, surprised that his kitten spoke. "What?! Why did I…? What do you mean?!"

"Why did you leave me?!" his kitten repeated, this time a little louder.

"I'm not following, Rei. When did I leave you? I mean… Well, I went to get some fresh air ten minutes ago, but I told you that and now I'm here with you." He looked intensely, but still worried at his kitten who seemed to be taking a short break from his heavy crying. He reached out to touch his kitten's face, but suddenly went totally numb when his kitten spoke.

"You can't die…" his kitten whispered while more tears ran silently down his cheeks and made spots on his clothes. Then he let Dranzer fall to the ground and closed his eyes.

The slate-haired boy pulled back his now shaking hand while staring at his kitten totally paralyzed. He kept hearing the words in his head, but they didn't make any sense no matter how many times they were repeated. What the hell was going on?! He was starting to feel dizzy. In all his confusion he got up and suddenly in that very moment he remembered.

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During dinner with the whole team he had lost track of time and the plane from Russia had already arrived ten minutes ago. He had promised to be there right away since none of the Demo Boys spoke one word of Japanese. He had managed to carry his plate to the kitchen sink, give his kitten a half-mouth-half-cheek kiss, get out of the building, and get into a cab in less than three minutes. The traffic had been driving him crazy and made him jump out of the cab only a few blocks away from where he had got in. He had damned himself for not reacting to his kitten screaming and begging to wait for him. The traffic had been moving slowly so it hadn't been hard to avoid getting hit by cars. He had also damned the long distance between the hotel and the airport, but hadn't slowed down or stopped to catch his breath.

He had run non-stop for fifteen minutes when he spotted out Tala and Bryan standing on the pavement right outside the entrance to the airport. They had looked confused and a little nervous, but who wouldn't if they were in their place? He had started to speed up, but suddenly something had hit him and made him fly directly onto the pavement. He suddenly hadn't been able to feel the right side of his body; it had gone numb.

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He remembered wondering why he couldn't move, suddenly seeing blurry Talas and Bryans and people he didn't know come running towards him. He remembered having trouble breathing and something falling out of his pocket when he had tried to move again.

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Loud and screaming voices had suddenly gone quiet. He hadn't been able to hear anything except for the fast heartbeat of someone holding him; obviously very close. He had shut his eyes trying to make all the blurriness disappear. And when he had opened them again a pair of frightened, but very well-known amber-eyes had met his own crimson ones. He had managed to speak his kitten's name before everything had gone pretty dark.

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"Rei…," he said quietly with a voice of someone who was about to break down and cry. This wasn't real! How could it be? He and his kitten were supposed to get married tomorrow and he hadn't seen any of the Demo Boys since last year! But somehow that memory was still in his head.

"No…," he said while shaking his head. "This isn't happening!"

Tears began to fill his eyes. His closed fists were shaking in fury and pain. He shut his eyes kept telling himself to wake up and that it was only a dream; a very bad one. But when he opened his eyes again his kitten was still crying on his knees in front of him.

He looked up. The orange sky had changed. He screamed.

Releasing so much rage made him fall down on his knees again. He let the tears run. He looked at his kitten. He wanted to touch him, comfort him, hold him in his arms and tell him that everything was going to be alright. He wanted to make tomorrow unbelievable for his kitten, make it immortal and something that would never be forgotten. He wanted to stay with his kitten in total bliss the rest of their lives. He wanted to kiss him; feel his soft, warm lips he knew so well on his one last time. He reached out to touch his face, but his kitten got up, dried his eyes and wiped away the latest and final tears. He just stood there a few moments. Then he turned around and began to walk.

He lowered his face. "Rei… I _didn't _leave you…," but when he looked up his kitten was already gone.


End file.
